Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Nickelback BNM'D by Seriously Hip....Are they the Kanye West of Modern Rock? HRO style piece on the greatest rock and roll band ever.

All this rage about Kanye West got me thinking. Who is the yeezy of rock and roll. So many alt rock bands who are legit, Goo Goo dolls, Adam Lambert, Train, Fuel, Coldplay, Phish, Linkin Park, The Black Keys, Stone Sour, Nine Inch Nails, O-Town. Many great artists went through my head. It was earlier today when I was at Starbucks and the lady said to me, "Thanks for coming, here's your nickel back." Then I said out loud, "Ahh Shit fuck, Nickelbizzy......" She told me I needed to leave because Starbucks is a (NASDAQ: SBUX) owned, family environment where people can hear cool music and eat ice cream. I left and immediately went to researching Nickelback on my Macbook Pro.

Nickelback was formed by brothers Chad and Mike Kroeger and some other bros in 1995. They released their first seven track EP in 1996 called Hesher. They released a couple full lengths and soon became Canadian Indie superstars. The album the State was released independently and they soon began opening up for Rush along side Tegan and Sara. Everyone was really getting along well, loving life, drinking Canadian whiskey, watching hockey. Then some problems started to surface when Tegan from Tegan and Sara told Sara who told Mike who told Geddy Lee who told the sound bro from Nickelback who then told Chad, after seeing Chad's peen, she could never love a man again. So they moved their label to America in 2001 and went Platinum re-releasing the State under the label EMI.

Soon They exploded onto the American mainstream with the hit single "How you remind me of weird peens." Nickelback has sold millions upon millions of records. They are the #1 selling post grunge music act of the 2000's. They are the 2nd best selling foreign act behind the Beatles. They are the highest ranked adult rock band, and the highest ranked rock artist on Billboards list of artists of the decade. They effing kill it! Over the past 10 years I can't think of anytime that I was so blessed to be listening to top 40 or modern alt rock, and Nickelback didn't have a single playing on that stations 10 song rotation. Just think yall, if every year for the past ten years your band has had a song on that rotation you must be seriously talented. Nickelback has had 25 singles that have blasted through your factory speakers onto your Power 96.5 Jams, all the way to your Z93.3 edge active rock station. A career spanning 5 albums over 10years. If they keep up this pace they will one day go down as the greatest rock and roll band ever.

Will Nickelback go down as the greatest rock band ever along side U2 and The Grateful Dead?
Is Rush now opening for Nickelback?
Have they ever gone back to Canada, or do they just chill in L.A. cause Canada sucks?
Do yall wanna b big rockstars, stay skinny cause u just wont eat, have drug dealers on speed dial, pop your pills from a PEZ dispenser?
Do yall have weeds in the backyard 4 feet tall?
Do u <3 Chad Kroegers voice? Would you rather b Chaz Bundick or Chad Kroeger? Do u think if Tegan saw ur peen that she would go straight? Did they invent the active rock genre or was that Avenged Sevenfold? Do yall h8 me for impersonating Carles? If u had one word to describe Nickelback what would it b? R U STOKED CHAD WENT BACK TO HIS INDIE ROOTS AND DID A SONG WITH MY DARKEST DAYS AND LUDACRIS?

Did I just loose the small amount of indie/alt/music/relevant credibility that I had?


3 days ago 22
Me: Mom, i'm gonna fight 1507 people now, i'll be back soon.

Mom: By yourselft?!

Me: No, i have 61,614 people with me. :)


  1. Ah, Nickelback. A date of mine ended prematurely when my companion un-ironically stated "Oh man, I love Nickelback". When they said that my mind immediately though to itself "I wonder what train I could catch at this time".

  2. I have nightmares i am dating women who listen to shitty music....the funny thing is they would probz think the music i liked was shitty.